Tuesday, March 08, 2011

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You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

There’s a phrase given to us by the venerable computer game called Adventure, which fits many situations. The game, in which one explores caverns, searches for treasures, and solves puzzles to obtain the treasures and bring them back to the surface, contains two mazes.

Most adventurers find the first maze when they go south from a particular room in the cave. You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike, says the computer, adding that there are passages leading off in all directions. One’s first thought is to go north to retrace one’s steps, but, well, the passages are twisty (and little), and going north from there only lands one in another room within the maze. Again, You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

The directions are not random, and there actually is a well-defined maze here, which one can map. Enter the maze while carrying as many items as you can, and you can drop the items like bread crumbs. You have to keep carrying the lamp in order to see, but as you drop the rest, one by one, the rooms become distinct:

You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
There is a bottle of water here.

You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
There is tasty food here.

You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
There are some keys on the ground here.

Interestingly, the maze comprises two lobes, connected by a single passage. Because the only (non-magic) exit from the maze is the way you came in, wandering into the far lobe makes it much more difficult to ever get out, and you’re likely to run out of battery power in your lamp, fall into a pit in the dark, and die.

Such is the maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

The second maze is interesting only for its differences. It’s also entered by heading south, from a different starting room. Its map is much more complex than that of the other, with many more passages interconnecting the rooms, though with fewer rooms. When you enter it, you see, You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all different.

But this time you don’t have to leave bread crumbs; you have only to read the descriptions carefully:

You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all different.

You’re in a maze of little twisty passages, all different.

You’re in a twisty maze of little passages, all different.

You’re in a little twisty maze of passages, all different.

...and so on.

The all-different maze is cute, and, as I said above, mostly there for its contrast with the all-alike maze (most adventurers stumble into the all-alike one first). There’s a treasure in the all-alike maze, so you have to go in there (and kill the pirate) in order to get it. There’s nothing you need in the all-different maze, and experienced adventurers just avoid it.

And anyway, it’s the first description that’s stuck with us as a catch phrase: You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

When you’re having a discussion that keeps going around in circles with no hope for resolution: You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

When you’re debugging a problem, but everything you try just makes the problem happen without adding any clue as to why: You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

When you’re trying to deal with bureaucracy, and every attempt to get something done just sends you to another office that you know won’t help any more than the last did: You’re in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

Very useful sentence, that.

5 comments:

Brent said...

I think that is my job description...

Ray said...

As I recall, the phrase changed subtly, according to where you were. For example, it might also have been You’re in a little maze of twisty passages, all alike, or You’re in a maze of little twisty passages, all alike.

Or perhaps that's just my faulty memory after all the intervening decades! Now that you've reminded me, though, I think I will head over to my VM terminal and play it for a little while (it still runs quite happily under CMS).

Barry Leiba said...

No, the phrase only changes (it's unique for every room) in the all-different maze. In the all-alike maze, it never changes. That's why they're all alike, you see.

The Ridger, FCD said...

Our IT guys "upgraded" us to Windows 7 and put us on a streaming server at the same time two weeks ago. I was guinea pig for the server thing for six months, and hadn't had any problems after the first couple of weeks. And I know Win7 can't be a major disaster or we'd have heard about it.

Nonetheless, it's been a disaster. Every day different, and every application not working in some strange way. The lead IT guy said to me yesterday that the worst thing was he couldn't find anybody anywhere having the kinds of problems we are.

Tomorrow I'm asking in what kind of twisty little passages he's in...

Ray said...

I guess it really is time to go and play it again (and dig out the crib sheets I so carefully created all those years ago).