Square whole can be voguish and have indulge you through

I’d generally find it tedious to post my spam here. And, certainly, bad grammar in spam is nothing new. But... well, this just has some of the most amazingly bad grammar and eccentric capitalization that I’ve ever seen, and I just couldn’t resist:

Dear Winner

We Apologies, for the delay of your payment and all the Inconveniences And Inflict that we might have indulge you through.

However, we are Having some minor problems with our payment system, this is Inexplicable, And have held us stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to devote our 100% Assiduity in accrediting foreign payments.We Apologies once again from the Records of outstanding winners due for payment With {ABV CYBER PROMOTION} your name and Particular was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding winners who are Yet to received their payments.

Emails were selected anonymously through a Computer ballot system from over 35,000 companies and 70,000 individual E-mail addresses all over the world and your e-mail address emerged as the winner of the 11 selected emailaddress. This program is promoted and sponsored by Orient software corporation (Orient Networks) in collaboration with The Abv Cyber International.

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in Square whole and can be voguish for your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter. Also note that from our record in our File, your outstanding winning payment is $950.215.00 (NINE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DOLLARS).Payment will be made to you in a certified bank draft or wire transfer into a nominated bank Account of your choice, as soon as you get in touched with.

There follows the name, phone number (in England), and email address of the person with whom I’m meant to get in touched (there’s no postal address, of course). So I guess I’d better be voguish right away, lest the square peg fall out of Square whole before I do.